How much is too much is the question I have asked myself over the last couple of days. For those of you who do not know me extremely well, my ‘hobby world and day-to-day life’ revolves around football. I have been a huge Buckeyes and Bills fan for forever. I have come to the point in my Buffalo Bills fandom where I am wondering, do I put in too much into this sport and team for too little?
Now don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that I am moaning and complaining in this post about an entirely first-world problem, but it is what’s on my mind, and I’d like to write about it. I look at this issue from multiple views:
Physical Health. When the Bills lose, which is always, too much unhealthy eating and drinking habits follow.
Mental Health. There is a quote that says something like, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of Insanity.” This is me and the Buffalo Bills. Year after year, the same thing happens over and over, the Bills are terrible. Year after year, I continue to cheer and fully support the Bills in a belief that they will improve and be successful, they never do.
Emotional Health. I think the fact that I am writing this and wasting my time probably shows you the effect that the dumb Buffalo Bills has on my emotional health…
Productivity. I spend soooo much time looking at Buffalo Bills news, talking on the Bills forums, looking at Bills merchandise, etc. that it takes away from time where I can actually be doing things to improve my life.
I posted the following on the Buffalo Bills message boards yesterday:
“I know I’m going to get a whole bunch of people on here who are going to say, “GO, we don’t need you!”, ‘You’re not a real fan!”, “You suck donkey ****!”, etc, but I am honestly nearing the end of my rope of fandom for the Buffalo Bills. I am 26 years old and have liked the Bills since before I can remember. Unfortunately, what this means is I was 14 years old the last time the Bills were in the post season. Since then, the best record the Bills have had is 9-7 in 2004. Do you all realize how absolutely awful that is?
I am in love with the game of football. I love it on every level, High School – Pro. I feel like I am cheating myself by continuing to cheer for this Buffalo Bills franchise. Every Sunday I wake up hopeful and inspired, and by that evening I am under a dark-depressive-oppressive cloud. Why do I continue to subject myself to something that I know is not giving me any return on my investment? I’ve been through so many emotional, tear jerking losses and utter beat downs, I don’t think my physical, mental and emotional health can handle it anymore…
With this being said, I’m signing off for a while. No more buffalobills.com, no more Bills Boards, no more Bills text updates, no more Bills desktop background, I need some time to mend. I will continue to watch this team play, but I’m only going to invest 3.5 – 4 hours a week of my life on the Bills from this point forward until I see some progress. If they finish above .500 this year, perhaps I will come back. If they don’t, I might just be done.
I feel terrible for feeling this way, but there is only so much someone can take.
Again, as I re-read this, I find this to be somewhat pathetic. Time to make some life changes so I don’t have to deal with this garbage anymore. I still consider myself a Bills fan, but like I said, I’m going to end some of the madness.
Thank you for dealing with my therapeutic rant.