Minivan Man

Yes, it is indeed true.  What you gather from the title is now listed within my repertoire and resume of life, I AM MINIVAN MAN! (Ozzy)

With the family expanding and the 80lb being as massive as ever, it became blatantly obvious that the 2004 Saturn Ion and 2008 Honda Civic just weren’t going to cut it any longer.  We had to add a tank member to our team, and with additions come sacrifices.  Our trusty girl, Carmen as she was named, was traded in for the new purchase.  You helped greatly in one final moment of glory little gold 2004 Saturn, you were a good car; you just did not have enough junk in the trunk to suffice our needs.  So we move forth into the future!  Gold Ion becomes 2010 Chrysler Town & Country – BLACK!  BLACK AS NIGHT!

Now I know you’re all thinking that minivans are the worst and I am here to tell you, you are incorrect!  Minivans have power, and I’m not just talking about that of horses.  They transform us from just another idiot on the road to an idiot who somehow has procreated.  I do not believe that I know of, or will ever meet, a person who was not a parent and owned a minivan.  In fact, when filling out the paperwork at CarMax (very good experience by the way) there was a checkbox for an agreement/disclaimer that read something like, ‘By checking the preceding box, you are confirming to this dealership and society that you do indeed have offspring.  The sale of any type of van of the miniature variety will not be completed to any person who has not entered parenthood’.

So, with this being understood, you can all see that the minivan is just another badge of honor on my Parenthood sash.  The beats be bumpin with all the speakers, the seats disappear into the floor! MAGIC!  Just know that I will be laughing at you the next time you’re trying to move a couch or mattress in your 4 door, suckers!

 

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