Electricity

Tonight. Darkness arrives and where have my senses gone. I stand up and aw crap, I ran into the coffee table. Stupid wood. My shins hurt, and I have no idea what is going on. I put my hand on the wall and slowly walk along the hallway. PRICK. Where in the hell did that cactus come from? Remind me never again to buy exotic plants off a street vendor. I finally grab a candle and matches. With a quick action I light the match and the candle and head down the hallway.

The bedroom has to be around here somewhere. I see the door and slowly open it. I blow out the candle to keep the light low for my wife. It has to be safe to enter. I was wrong as my face gets caught up in wet clothes. Laundry. Ugh, it takes so long to dry when you hang it up. As I pull the clothes off my face and place them on the string I realize I need to wake up early for an appointment.

The only way for me to do that is to set my rooster. I feel along the ground for it, and OUCH. It bit me. Oh well he is in my hands now. I twist the roosters legs and turn it’s head 90 degrees to set the alarm for 9 am, when I realize the twist of the rooster’s head actually killed him. Looks like I have no idea what time I’m waking up in the morning. I finally put my head to rest, and hope for the best.

I wake up to the sun shining into my room and look at my mechanical clock. Unfortunately, I haven’t wound it so it stopped working and I am just going to have to wing it. I walk out to the kitchen to get some fantastic food. I open up my cereal and pour myself a bowl. Cheerios, my favorite! I love the sound the little pieces make as they clank against the bowl. I reach for my milk when… yep curdled. It goes bad before I am ever able to finish my box of tasty breakfast treats.

I have to get going, judging by the shadows on the ground I am going to be late. I grab my trusty map and head to work. I pull open the map to see what route I should take this morning. Walking to work is never easy when you have no idea where you are going. Fully spread in front of me I see I should take Main Street to High Avenue. Then I need to.. NO COME BACK. I reach, holler and grab at the map, but the wind has taken it. I run after it bending to pick it up on multiple occasions only to have it pulled away from me like a dollar on a fishing string. No worries I can ask around to get to work.

After asking multiple people I am finally guided to my office. As I walk to the front door security stops me and asks for my ID Badge. Well, in my hustle and bustle I must have left it at home. This doesn’t go well with the person at the front desk so they call in an investigation team. Let’s just say, I will leave parts of this story out. When all is said and done, I make it to my desk and sit down. Time to do some engineering. I pull out my trusty pencil and slide rule and get to work.

Then I realize how my life would be different if I had electricity.

I would have had lights turned on so I didn’t hit my shin or run into a cactus.
The laundry would have been in a dryer instead of smacking me in my face.
I wouldn’t have killed my rooster because I would have set my alarm clock.
My milk wouldn’t have been spoiled because I would have used a fridge.
I wouldn’t have gotten lost on my way to work because I would have GPS.
I would have easily been able to ID myself at work with a fingerprint scanner.
I would be able to do awesomely complex and super detailed computations 5000x faster with the click of buttons and swipes of mousestrokes with a computer and Excel.

Yea, the typical day of a person without electricity was probably pretty meaningless. It just took so much longer to do anything I’m surprised they lived a fulfilling life. Electricity, the greatest thing since sliced bread, unless sliced bread was invented with an electric cutter then it’s the greatest invention since beer!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s